er, I mean, Dear Diabetes,

You’ve been in my life a while now, it’s true, and you’ve changed it for the better in a few ways, but I feel like we have some unresolved issues. You can be irrational, unpredictable, volatile, and are nearly always immature. In all honesty, it’s getting a little hard to live with you.

I mean, come on. If I have some lovely slices of cheddar cheese, and bolus for them, why would you want to raise my BG 100 points? That kind of acting out is just getting really old. You’re bigger than that. Start behaving like it. And what was up that time in NYC when I had no active insulin, and you just kept sending my BG lower and lower and lower till it hit 30, in spite of my chugging orange soda and tabs? Would you like to explain yourself?

Here’s my problem. I behave well most of (or at least some of) the time, and yet you behave however you please, all the time. Does that really seem fair to you? And what’s with you getting to decide when I do this or that? I’d like you to please stop behaving like a dictator. Thanks. That’d be really great.

Oh, and remember that time on the plane? When we kept turning and you let me think the vertigo-y sensations were from turning, when really it was because my BG was 54? That was awesome. It was especially awesome that you waited until the stewardess serving drinks was a million miles away, and the person in front of me was leaned all the way back so it was hard to find my soda.

There are lots of problems with our relationship, but I won’t list them all. Basically, I’d like you to grow up. Be a man. Get your act together, and mind your p’s and q’s, and grow a conscience, and take some anger management classes to help with that vindictive streak. Do those things, and maybe we can talk. Until then, I’ll have my eye on you.