I often stay up much later than my husband when I’m working. He has a curious talent, wherein he can hold entire conversations without being actually awake. It’s excellent. He’s lucky I don’t wake him up every five minutes just to hear him talk. Tonight’s was one of my favorites, so here it is, along with one from about a week ago, also very special. Having a laptop on the bed is yet another reason I love my computer…

(Oh, and I call my husband Pie. Long story.)

me: Pie, wake up. Where’s my kiln?
d: People go berserk when they hear his name.
me: Who’s name?
d: Baloney L. Lockerpart.
me: (laughing) Where’s my kiln?
d: Everything’s all ready except for the snow.
me: Ready for what?
d: Oh, you know. Cooking. I just remember it as having a part from Shakespeare.
me: (laughing) What?
d: How will Jung be doing when he comes back?
me: Jung? Like Carl Jung?
d: No. Like Infomer Jung.
me: Pie, do you know where my kiln is?
d: On the far side of the porch.
me: Where on the far side?
d: Like over between the spelling bee and the legs.
me: Where’s my kiln?
d: I remember. I’m awake.
me: Okay, then can you tell me?
d: I’m remembering all those times, like when he peeled the american people and stuff, and everyone kept losing out.
me: Where’s my kiln?
d: I think it’s being well used over by the pop cultural things.
me: You used it last. Do you know where my kiln is?
d: I moved the one that just stirs around the sidewalks.
me: Pie, seriously, do you know where my kiln is?
d: No, not as such, but I can go look around and see if I happen to be president of any of the kilns. Just let me go see if they’re open.
me: If what’s open?
d: The Super Bowl.

And the other one:

me: Where’d you put your weights?
d: Green beans.
me: What? No. No green beans. Where are your weights?
d: Green beans.
me: Weights.
d: Green beans is where.
me: Why do you keep saying green beans? I’m looking for your weights. From earlier.
d: Green beans, in the bedroom.
(I look around the bedroom)
me: They’re not in the bedroom.
d: They’re green beans.
me: Quit with the green beans.
d: They’re funny. (laughing)
me: Fine. Where are your weights?
d: Kitimers.

Daniel’s the best.

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