I spoke with my parents, and they’re okay with it.
I’m starting the search.
It’s actually kind of unlikely that anything will turn up, but I don’t lose anything if it doesn’t, and I’m happy to be searching.
The ideal outcome for me would be:
1. A full medical history of my family. My mom had fibrous, un-mammagramable breasts and had them both completely removed & replaced at 47, along with a hysterectomy. Her family carried the gene for early breast / ovarian cancer, and every woman on her mom’s side died earlyish of breast cancer. Without knowing that, she might have left them alone, to pretty serious consequences. I’d like the ability to make that kind of informed decision.
2. A friendly, holiday card type correspondence with birth mother and any siblings.
3. The ability to write my birth mother a letter thanking her for her decision, and telling her that I’m very happy with my life and grateful to her.
Here goes.
(And now back to your regular diabetes programming.)
6 comments
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July 17, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Bernard Farrell
Speaking as the father of three adoptive children, I wish you the best of luck with your decision.
And the outcomes/expectations you have are very reasonable. I hope they’re all met.
July 17, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Allison
Wow. Good luck!
July 17, 2007 at 7:06 pm
julia
Wow. What a huge thing to do. You sound so calm about it – I think I’d be nervous as hell in your shoes.
July 17, 2007 at 9:13 pm
In Search Of Balance
I think that’s why I’m doing it now. I am calm. I’m curious and open to whatever this may bring, but I’m not looking for another family, or extra love, or anything from them that would be unreasonable to ask for and possibly hurtful to both parties. I’m VERY interested in a medical history, and I hope that we’ll have a friendly relationship, but I don’t need one. I know that the decision to give up a child comes from a hard place, one which they may understandably not wish to revisit.
I’ve thought about searching before, but now we’re getting ready (in the next 2 years) to adopt kids of our own. I know that part of being a responsible parent is being as healthy as I can be, and part of that involves knowing my medical history. So that was the deciding factor.
July 19, 2007 at 6:33 am
Melissa
I wish you the BEST of luck in your search! It is very important to know our ancestors medical history!
August 9, 2007 at 7:39 pm
artsweet
I wish you the best of luck with this and hope that the answers you find bring you peace and tranquility. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you how wonderful adoption can be… but I can’t even begin to describe the joy that this boy has brought into our lives. I’d love the password for your blog if you feel comfortable giving it out.